Psychotic Turnbuckles: Hollywood True Story
The Psychotic Turnbuckles story begins back in 1984 when they were not only a universally feared five man tag team but almost embarrassingly consistent winners of the legendary marathon surfing competitions in their home town of Pismo Beach, California.
During a surfing tournament, whilst imbibing champagne in the company of a feat of pretty girls, there came from the beach's newly erected sound system, the sound of local radio station 4-W.I.M.P.
Immediately following this infliction of the painful sound of the Boy George, Men at Work, Flock of Seagulls and some guy called Jimmy Barnes, JESSIE THE INTRUDER proceeded to destroy every speaker on the beach. He arrogantly declaimed
"WE HAVE BEATEN EVERY TAG TEAM THERE IS! THERE IS NO REASON WHY I, JESSIE THE INTRUDER, AND MY TAG TEAM PARTNERS, MUST LISTEN TO THIS GARBAGE! WE ARE UNDEFEATED IN WRESTLING! WE ARE UNDEFEATED IN SURFING! NEXT WE WILL CONQUER ROCK'N'ROLL, AND DESTROY AND DISPOSE OF ALL DULL CITY BANDS! THIS WILL BE SWIFT AND SURE!"
After only five performances in the U.S., a show at the Pismo Beach Clam Shell Club saw the band barred forever from playing in the U.S. for exhibitions of cruelty and the unscrupulous rule breaking tactics they employed upon opponents.
A relocation to Sydney, Australia, followed this spineless attempt to forestall their conquest of all things cool, where they continued their demolition of all opponents that stood in their path in their quest for ROCK'N'ROLL SUPREMACY.
They came!..They destroyed + they conquered. It was a 10 year rampage on the lame excuse for a "rock world" that the Psychotic Turnbuckles bathed in thee living sickness of.
The square eggs out there never got what the Psychotic Turnbuckles shoved in their freckly faces. What the Psychotic Turnbuckles delivered with the subtlety of a Mack truck was
- High Energy
Live... They spread the word right across Australia. The records sold a bucket load all around the world. The hick towns didn't get it..However the groovers relished and worshipped the power!.... And swirled out.
The studio recordings are a mire shadow of the chaotic live performances yet in hind sight still come across as a true experience. Any rock historian could tell you how many records + Cds the band released. He will also quote you catalogue numbers, release dates, rarities and promo only releases. These details are insignificant!
The fact of the matter is that you can at any time of the day or night slip on the turntable ANY track from the Turnbuckles vast catalogue and cant help but be compiled for destruction. Hey..Just don't believe me! Just ask any of the pretenders that the band did shows with.
The Turnbuckles took on all comers at many now lost venues. The Caringbah Inn , Sutherland Royal , The Kamdomah , Vulcan Hotel , Strawberry Hills Hotel , Sydney Trade Union Club, Mosman Hotel , the Venue etc These venues are all gone but tourists from around the world still pay homage at the supermarkets or carparks that are now what these great venues once were.